Why be Normal?

I spent years working with teenagers who I had nothing in common with. I was the typical good kid, never getting into trouble and doing everything asked of me. I grew up in a rural town, and let’s just suffice to say that everyone had the same racial profile as I did.As I became initiated into the underworld of juvenile delinquents, I had to learn a lot of things and this included understanding what the hell they were trying to say to me. Although they spoke English, my native language, I had to learn juvenile delinquent slang in order to “get them”, to be a “staff that understands us yo”. Here are a few slang terms and my interpretation of what they mean:

1. Yo. Something we’ve all heard at one time or another, can be used in many ways.

“Yo mama”, Your mother, or in other words, you’re a b$! and so is your mother.
“Yo, staff”, Hey, I need your attention.
“Yo” accompanied with a little nod. How are you? I’m good, Just sitting here.
Which brings me to the next word.

2. Chillin’. Easy enough, relaxing, sitting here, doing nothing.

Can be used, “chillin like a villin” Which means I think I’m a badass I am cool.
An often used combination is: “Yo, chill” which means cut the shit or I’m going to smack you.

3. Phat. Pronounced FAT. A word used instead of cool. It’s Fat, with a PH.

4. Buggin. An old one, but a good one.

“I’m buggin” means simply, I’m freaking out. The opposite of chillin.

5. Dawg. A term coined by Randy Jackson on American Idol, but the girls in lockup were using it way before American Idol was ever on tv.

“Yo, dawg”, Hi friend, how are you today?

6. Peeps. A group of Dawgs. Your peeps are your friends. Most likely a shortened version of people.

“What up peeps?” Hey guys, How are you?

I better stop chillin writing this blog post because my wife is buggin and cleaning everything in the house. Yo dawgs, lata. Peace.

Not always.  Although I wouldn’t suggest smoking to anyone, it appears as though this woman hasn’t been affected by it.

In an alternate reality to this picture, she could be lighting the same cigarette while attached to an oxygen tank.  I’ve seen addicted smokers light up while on oxygen, not fully understanding that oxygen is flammable.

Is this picture funny?  I think so, but is it realistic that a smoker would actually live to 100?  It is my opinion that she is the exception, not the rule.

I don’t know much about the woman in California who just gave birth to eight children.   This is not a news story but instead my opinion on a woman’s need to have invitro fertilization, or IVF treatments, when they already have 6 children at home and are a single mother.

I don’t know how much of what I am reading is true about this woman in California.  She just gave birth to octuplets and doesn’t want to be named in the news.  From what I’ve read, the father is unknown and she will not have her name released to the media.  The fact that octuplet mother in California does not want to be identified makes my juvenile court investigator mind start buzzing.  Is there a reason that a single mother of now 14 children does not want the state to know who she is?

I’m not trying to bash anyone trying to have a family.  I myself have had to IVF treatments in order to start my family, but I have no children, a spouse, a good income and a big house to put them in.  We have one child on the way.  One, a single daughter, that is on her way in April 2009 and we can afford to have her.

I have some questions for this mother that we, the interested public, will never get answered.  If I was interviewing her for a juvenile court investigation I would ask:

1.  Who is the father of your previous 6 children?

2.  Who is the father of your eight octuplets?

3.  How do you support yourself and your children?

4.  Why would any doctor give you IVF treatments when you already had six children?

Everyone has the right to have children, even couples that are infertile.  I think it is clear that the previous six children showed that she wasn’t infertile.  A mother with six children has enough to deal with and any doctor that would provide IVF treatments to a mother of six should be ashamed of themselves.

Eight children at once?  How is she, even if she lives with her family, going to take care of 14 children?  Although I will state again that we all have a right to have children, I believe that you only can exercise that right if you are able to care for their basic needs without financial support from the state.

Am I against welfare?  No.  There are many people, for whatever reason, need to lean on the state for financial assistance.  Job losses and a recessive economy is only exacerbating this need right now.  I don’t know this woman’s financial situation, but unless she is independently wealthy I have no idea how she can afford 14 children and care for them at the same time.  I am only guessing, but maybe she is receiving state or federal benefits?

Why should we, the tax paying public support any family that has grown out of proportion out of selfishness?

No reasonable doctor would tell a woman to keep 7, oops, I mean 8 (the surprise one) fetuses.  I would hate to reduce any pregnancy and I strongly believe that it is immoral to reduce, but when the health of the other fetuses is of great concern, why, oh why would you keep all 8?

I am not in this woman’s situation (thankfully).  I don’t know her and I only know what I read, but I am opinionated.  What in the world is she going to do with 14 children?

Think about it.  The cost of a formula for a new baby, diapers, clothing, furniture, all add up quickly when you are having one.  What happens when this is multiplied times 8?

Living in Massachusetts as a lesbian is great.  We have the right to get married and we have the same state benefits as other married couples.   After being with my partner for 6 years the law passed and we got married within weeks for fear that they would take it away from us just like they have been able to in California.

What made me laugh recently is that Massachusetts is being advertised as a gay and lesbian travel destination, with little tiny rainbow colored state maps found in google ads.  The most recent ad I read said, “come visit Massachusetts.  Where gays and lesbians can get married.”  Am I happy about this law?   Yes, overwhelmingly happy.  Do I think this law makes Massachusetts a gay and lesbian travel Mecca?  No, not really.  It’s not as if we are running around the streets chanting and showing our colors…we save that for the yearly pride marches.

What is fun for the gays and lesbians who might want to visit Massachusetts is the fact that some areas have high densities of gays and lesbians and you will feel more comfortable here as a traveler than in say rural almost anywhere.

I live in Massachusetts and have spent most of my life here.   There are “gay and lesbian mecca” areas, but certainly if you travel 10 miles or so in any direction the culture changes quickly.  Yes, we are more accepting in Massachusetts than some states, but not so much that we should be advertised as a gay and lesbian travel destination.

One great place to visit in the summer is Provincetown, Massachusetts.  On the very tip of Cape Cod (the inside joke was that they tried to chase us out of Massachusetts and didn’t quite succeed) is Provincetown.  When you visit Provincetown there are more gay and lesbian couples around than straight couples.  In fact, when you see a straight couple holding hands, it almost seems weird and out of place.  It is fun, clean, and Commercial Street is full of shops, art galleries and restaurants.  Provincetown is a great summer vacation for the gay or lesbian couple or family that just wants to walk along the beach and hold hands without getting stared at.

Massachusetts is also home to Northampton, Massachusetts, once labeled “Lesbianville” by the local press.  I can attest to the fact that Northampton is full of gays and lesbians and it is truly a place where you can be as out as you want to.  We have a lesbian mayor, a lesbian principal at the high school, and a lesbian superintendent of schools.  There is no need to hide who you are in Northampton.

I went out to lunch one day here in Northampton with my sister.  The waitress assumed that we were a couple and tried to put us in a very cosy nook for lunch.  Nay, Nay I said, “I’m here having lunch with my sister, this isn’t a date”.  The waitress laughed and moved us.  “Oh, sorry”, she said, “I just assumed”.  Sounds a bit different than what you are used to, huh?

Other than Provincetown and Northampton, Boston is a great place to visit for anyone, especially trendy and highly concentrated with gays and lesbians,  Jamaica Plain.  There are many gay and lesbian clubs in Boston and you can certainly find plenty to do no matter what your interests are.

The Berkshires also caters to gays and lesbians, depending on the area you visit.  Lenox (think Tanglewood) is a very wealthy town, but at places such as Kripalu (a retreat center) you are welcome on a come as you are basis.  Tanglewood attracts famous artists and the Boston Pops plays there all summer.  If you are into classical music, Tanglewood is a great place for gays and lesbians to visit.

Williamstown is another town in the Berkshires that is gay and lesbian friendly.  The hometown of Williams College, summer theatre festivals bring all types of people out of the woodwork.  You can be yourself in Williamstown, hold hands and walk the streets freely.

As I write this, I have started to think that yes, maybe Massachusetts is a gay and lesbian travel destination.  Maybe I laughed because I am just so used to it.  I can walk down the street with my wife, hold hands and I will be on our baby’s birth certificate as “parent two”.  I don’t see why people would want to come visit, just because gays and lesbians can get married here, but Massachusetts is a gay and lesbian friendly place.  Maybe it should be advertised this way.  Who knows, but I doubt so far their ad campaign is working too well.

 Photograph by storm chaser Mike Hollinghead, Nebraska 2002

**Update to the post below.  Ok, Ok, maybe Jessica Simpson gained a few more pounds than I first thought. It still doesn’t matter to me, she is still a very attractive woman, even if she is wearing mom jeans once in awhile.

Honestly, I have many more things to do besides wonder if Jessica Simpson has gained weight, but everywhere I look I seem to read stories about how the hot and beautiful Jessica Simpson has gotten fat.

Are they serious?

I keep reading that Jessica Simpson has gained 15 pounds.  Oh, no, what would one do if they gained 15 pounds?  I gain 15 pounds from looking at food and I don’t think it is a major health concern if Jessica Simpson gains a little more fat on her radically skinny body.

Just from the way the two different pictures portray her, it is clear that we are to believe that the one on the left is her “fat” picture.  Of course she is also a bit washed out from an overexposed flash, not looking at the camera, and has a vacant look on her face.  The second picture she is clearly posing, smiling and all tanned and ready for the camera.  Does Jessica Simpson really look that much worse on the left?  Yeah, I don’t think so either.  If I looked like the Jessica Simpson fat picture on the left I would be counting my lucky stars.  If I was dating her I wouldn’t have time to sit and write this blog.

Jessica Simpson has reportedly stated that her weight gain (eeeeeek 15 pounds, oh no!) is from stress eating because she is nervous about her upcoming country album.  Fine, she’s a stress eater, but Jessica Simpson is a far cry from fat and it this perpetuation of the image of an ideal woman that makes famous people like Jessica worry over a few measly pounds.

Other rumors are that she is gaining weight because she is pregnant with Tony Romo’s child.  So what if she is?  If Jessica Simpson wants the public to know that she is pregnant with Tony Romo’s baby, she will tell us.  Until then, why do we speculate so much?

I know that writing a blog post about a famous star only continues the cycle and I have become a cog in the wheel of commercialism by writing about Jessica Simpson getting fat.  What I want to be clear about is that I think Jessica Simpson is beautiful and a few extra pounds is neither noticeable nor a detriment to her physical beauty.  Regardless of why she “has gained weight”, she has the right to and shouldn’t feel that she needs to explain it to the world.

I recently watched the Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman movie The Bucket List for the third time. Although I expected a comedy, I still enjoyed the movie and it made me consider what I might add to my own bucket list. At 36, I’m guessing that I have quite a bit of time left, but I decided to start my list now with the plan that I can add or subtract from this list at anytime. This is my bucket list, or otherwise described as “the list of things I’d like to do before I die.”

1. Snorkel.

I have snorkeled once in my life and that is enough for me. It has made my bucket list, but with a check mark next to it already. On a trip to Aruba about 8 years ago I took the plunge and went snorkeling. I was terrified and even writing about it makes my skin break out in a cold sweat. I held onto the stairs for a good twenty minutes, crying on the dock and refusing to get into the water. I made friends with a seven year old who was in the same state of mind.

What is important to know is that I can swim, but I am a product of the Jaws generation and I am scared of the ocean. I also don’t care for fish at all, and there were people on the dock throwing all kinds of popcorn and other food into the water. There were many fish in the water, some jumping out of the water trying to get the food. Seriously, this was a feeding frenzy and there were fish as big as footballs, bright blue and very scary to me.

I went in the water. I snorkeled in my own unique way. I managed to make it about twenty feet from the ladder before I would panic and swim back. Without glasses on I felt at a disadvantage, probably one reason I get so scared in the water. I did it. I snorkeled in Aruba because I knew that I would be disappointed in myself if I didn’t. Check snorkeling off my bucket list and please don’t make me do it again.

2. Go back to London, England.

I spent a college semester in 1993 in London, England. I loved London and if it wasn’t a five hour plane flight from my family, I’d live there. London is beautiful (despite the weather) and is full of history. I enjoyed the three months I spent there so much that even 16 years later I remember it like it was yesterday. Number two on my bucket list is to go back to London.

3. See one summer Olympics in Person.

I have always wanted to attend an Olympics. My hope is that I can combine number 2 and 3 on my bucket list and attend the 2012 Olympics in London. We’ll see, but that is the goal, to go to the Summer Olympics 2012, in London, England.

4. Finish writing a novel.
I have 100 pages so far of a novel I have been working on forever. I have to finish writing at least one, we’ll see if it is this one or one yet to be started.

5. Attend Law School.

The LSAT’s are taken and now I have to get in. I don’t think it is going to happen this year because we have a baby on the way in April. A new baby and the first year in law school probably do not go together.

I think this is a good start. As I said, my bucket list is a work in progress and I reserve the right to change it at any time. Do you have things that you want to accomplish before you die? Do you feel that you need to make your imprint on the world?

I am cold.  I am tired.  I am tired and cold and I am sick of the snow already, even though it is only January.  What happened to our yearly January thaw?  Last night the weather was so cold it was something like 7 below.  Yeah, yeah, I know that some of you live in places like Minnesota and Canada where it is even colder, but this is my blog and I’m going to whine all I want.

Our weather forecast for tomorrow, according to WWLP, TV 22 news is:

Snow.  Possibly a hell of a lot of it depending on where you live.  Don’t go out, you have to stay home and shovel your driveway all day.  Don’t forget about all of the ridiculous ice that formed last week while you at work all day.  Ice underneath snow makes snowblowing very precarious.  Don’t remember last year you moron when you fell three times trying to clean off the snow from your steep driveway?

The weather forecast for tomorrow?  Stay under the covers with a good book.  It won’t be worth going out.

I have 500 or more paperback books, all are 2002 or newer, in a non-smoking household.  I am getting yelled at to get the nursery ready and the 500 books have to go.  They are mostly contemporary fiction, mystery and a few smatterings of romance.  Is anyone interested in some of these books?  I was selling them online and do not have the time to do it anymore.  I have a handy mail scale and I can give you the books for the price of postage.  I will put up a partial list of titles when I can, but is anyone interested in some free books for the cost of postage?  (I will even leave the cost of the postage on the box so that you can see you got what you paid for).

Or, does anyone have any idea where I can donate these books?  The local second hand bookseller got about 1,000 from me already and is just a bit overwhelmed.