Why be Normal?

Living in Massachusetts as a lesbian is great.  We have the right to get married and we have the same state benefits as other married couples.   After being with my partner for 6 years the law passed and we got married within weeks for fear that they would take it away from us just like they have been able to in California.

What made me laugh recently is that Massachusetts is being advertised as a gay and lesbian travel destination, with little tiny rainbow colored state maps found in google ads.  The most recent ad I read said, “come visit Massachusetts.  Where gays and lesbians can get married.”  Am I happy about this law?   Yes, overwhelmingly happy.  Do I think this law makes Massachusetts a gay and lesbian travel Mecca?  No, not really.  It’s not as if we are running around the streets chanting and showing our colors…we save that for the yearly pride marches.

What is fun for the gays and lesbians who might want to visit Massachusetts is the fact that some areas have high densities of gays and lesbians and you will feel more comfortable here as a traveler than in say rural almost anywhere.

I live in Massachusetts and have spent most of my life here.   There are “gay and lesbian mecca” areas, but certainly if you travel 10 miles or so in any direction the culture changes quickly.  Yes, we are more accepting in Massachusetts than some states, but not so much that we should be advertised as a gay and lesbian travel destination.

One great place to visit in the summer is Provincetown, Massachusetts.  On the very tip of Cape Cod (the inside joke was that they tried to chase us out of Massachusetts and didn’t quite succeed) is Provincetown.  When you visit Provincetown there are more gay and lesbian couples around than straight couples.  In fact, when you see a straight couple holding hands, it almost seems weird and out of place.  It is fun, clean, and Commercial Street is full of shops, art galleries and restaurants.  Provincetown is a great summer vacation for the gay or lesbian couple or family that just wants to walk along the beach and hold hands without getting stared at.

Massachusetts is also home to Northampton, Massachusetts, once labeled “Lesbianville” by the local press.  I can attest to the fact that Northampton is full of gays and lesbians and it is truly a place where you can be as out as you want to.  We have a lesbian mayor, a lesbian principal at the high school, and a lesbian superintendent of schools.  There is no need to hide who you are in Northampton.

I went out to lunch one day here in Northampton with my sister.  The waitress assumed that we were a couple and tried to put us in a very cosy nook for lunch.  Nay, Nay I said, “I’m here having lunch with my sister, this isn’t a date”.  The waitress laughed and moved us.  “Oh, sorry”, she said, “I just assumed”.  Sounds a bit different than what you are used to, huh?

Other than Provincetown and Northampton, Boston is a great place to visit for anyone, especially trendy and highly concentrated with gays and lesbians,  Jamaica Plain.  There are many gay and lesbian clubs in Boston and you can certainly find plenty to do no matter what your interests are.

The Berkshires also caters to gays and lesbians, depending on the area you visit.  Lenox (think Tanglewood) is a very wealthy town, but at places such as Kripalu (a retreat center) you are welcome on a come as you are basis.  Tanglewood attracts famous artists and the Boston Pops plays there all summer.  If you are into classical music, Tanglewood is a great place for gays and lesbians to visit.

Williamstown is another town in the Berkshires that is gay and lesbian friendly.  The hometown of Williams College, summer theatre festivals bring all types of people out of the woodwork.  You can be yourself in Williamstown, hold hands and walk the streets freely.

As I write this, I have started to think that yes, maybe Massachusetts is a gay and lesbian travel destination.  Maybe I laughed because I am just so used to it.  I can walk down the street with my wife, hold hands and I will be on our baby’s birth certificate as “parent two”.  I don’t see why people would want to come visit, just because gays and lesbians can get married here, but Massachusetts is a gay and lesbian friendly place.  Maybe it should be advertised this way.  Who knows, but I doubt so far their ad campaign is working too well.

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