Why be Normal?

This Labor Day weekend was like any typical last weekend of the summer in New England.  Cooling temperatures, last hurrah barbeques, and a tag sale on every corner.  Yes, we had a tag sale too, that yearly hoeing out of the junk that accumulates in the garage that people screech their tires to stop and look at.  The junk that ends up in their garage and they sell next year at their own tag sale.

What I find the most interesting about tag sales is the haggling that goes on.  “How much is this (fill in the blank)?”

“It has .50 cents on it.”

“I’ll give you a quarter.”

Yeah, I know, we all like a bargain, but really, haggling over .25 cents?  For a once used audio book that was purchased six months ago for $28?

“Take it.  You can have it.  I already listened to it.  He dies in the end.  Sad, sad story and so unexpected.”

Better yet are the people who won’t pay a quarter for anything yet when we have a big free sign at the end of our driveway, they load up their car.  What they don’t want for a dollar or two, they will cart away when it is free.  Hmmm.  Just my opinion, but if you don’t want something for a quarter, you probably don’t want it at all.

I actually had someone knock on my door yesterday asking about my free table and chairs that are down by the mailbox.

“Do you have the screws for the legs?”

“Yup, they’re attached.”

“Do you have the table leaf?”

Are they kidding?  I thought I was being punked or something.  IT’S for FREE! 

“No, we don’t have the leaf, I didn’t know it had one.”

Looks at me as if considering “buying” the table despite it’s flaws.  Shakes his head.

“That’s too bad.”

He leaves without the table, shaking his head as he walks down the driveway.  I just want to scream “It’s free!”, but I close my door quietly.

Next year I am not going to have a tag sale.  I am going to have a giant bonfire instead.  I’ll start by breaking up this leafless table and use it for kindling.  Afterall, it is free.

  We all start out innocent.  No need to make sure we do everything perfect for fear of possible litigation.   What has happened to us as a society that we are so afraid of liability that we forget compassion and understanding?

No, I’m not saying everyone, everywhere lacks compassion.  There are many of us out there who are not afraid to reach out to others without a thought to covering our potentially liable behinds, but I have a bad taste in my mouth from a recent incident and I can’t help but voice my opinion as many of us bloggers are inclined to do.

This isn’t about me, but about a friend.  Not a “wink, wink” friend, but really, not me because right now I am a stay at home mom.  This friend, we’ll call her Kate, has been sick.

Kate has a seizure disorder which has been newly diagnosed.  She hasn’t been able to drive a car for about six months because her seizures aren’t totally under control.  She has been to the doctor time after time and despite everything, continued to work dilligently at her job every day.

After ten years of hard work, she receives a letter outlining her employer’s “concerns”.  Apparently in the past 6 months there were three episodes where my friend was “a little confused”, “unresponsive”, or otherwise incapacitated for a period of less than 15 minutes.  That’s it.  Three minor episodes in 6 months.  As an epileptic myself, I can assure you that this is insignificant in the grander scheme of things.

 Instead of showing just a bit of compassion for Kate, her employer hands her a three page letter outlining every single statement she has made about her possible illness and details of the three episodes with a demand that she undergo a full physical and mental health evaluation and sign a release for her employer to contact any medical professionals so they can have input into the evaluations.  Further, they have reserved the right to get a second opinion if they do not like the first one.

Not once has her disability affected a major work decision or her overall performance, but it has made people feel uncomfortable.  They outline this discomfort in their letter as well.  “People feel embarrassed for you”.

Well, when I was having trouble with my seizure disorder 15 years ago, I wasn’t worried about being embarrassed, I was worried about things like hurting myself when I seized or getting my disease under control. 

Kate is a model employee.  I don’t work with her, but I know that she is.  She is dilligent, hardworking and a perfect rule follower.  She stays late without pay and will always get the job done.  When one of her coworkers was sick, she covered for her extensively and she is now not receiving the same compassion.

Why?

Are people that freaked out by others who have seizures?

I know that before I had seizures, I thought that they were only for severely impaired people and not college educated professionals.  I too was afraid, but nothing gets you over the fear of something than having to live with it every day.

To me, this is all about compassion, or in this case, a lack of compassion.  Their fear of what could happen has sparked their need to attack my friend, humiliate her with details I haven’t outlined here and put an already stressed, ill person under more stress.

What is even more disturbing is the agency she works for.  I can’t outline the details, but it’s safe to say that they are in human services.  Maybe a bank or an accounting firm wouldn’t understand or have compassion for a person with a seizure disorder, but an agency that services people with special needs probably should.

If it isn’t already obvious, I am angry.  I am mad that because of a fear of potential liability my friend is being dumped on by her employer despite ten years of service for an illness that is beyond her control. 

Are there any real answers out there?

 The threat of swine flu is back.  Watch any news program during your morning coffee and you will hear swine flu mentioned at least once.  Health officials are sending the warning that half of Americans could be infected by the swine flu this flu season and 90,000 could die.

What?

90,000 people could die from the swine flu?

They are encouraging people to get the swine flu vaccine when it becomes available, although there will only be enough for half of the population.  Let’s hope it’s the half that would have been infected in the first place.

Why can’t they make enough vaccine to cover the whole population?

I’m sitting here, watching the news as I write, and waited patiently to learn, “how to protect yourself from the swine flu”.  I waited through several commercial breaks to hear how I could protect myself and my family from this potentially fatal flu.

What have I learned in the past hour?

First, that I should get vaccinated, but only if I am a school aged child, have asthma, or am otherwise frail. 

Second, if I fly, I shouldn’t fly sick.   Well, no kidding, but this would mean that I was already infected.  The news warned of flying, but then reminded us that all airlines have confirmed that the air inside of planes is HEPA filtered and safe.

Third, I learned that I shouldn’t cough into my hands, but into the crook of my elbow.  Again, this would mean I am already infected, and is not a prevention technique to avoid catching illness but a means to not spread infection to others.

The newscast then ended abruptly.  What did I really learn about swine flu?

Half of us are going to get sick if we don’t cough into our elbows and wash our hands.  90,000 of us Americans could die, so fly somewhere before you do and enjoy a vacation because the air in planes is HEPA filtered.  Get vaccinated, but not if you are healthy, only if you are a child, frail or have asthma.

I learned NOTHING about how to really prevent the swine flu today, but my belief that health officials and the media try to scare the poop out of us is confirmed. 

Beware, the threat of swine flu is out there, the terrorist threat level is orange, vaccinations cause autism, the recession will live on forever and toxic lead levels were found in your child’s toys from China.  Now, sleep well, don’t panic, and take a vacation.