Why be Normal?

  We all start out innocent.  No need to make sure we do everything perfect for fear of possible litigation.   What has happened to us as a society that we are so afraid of liability that we forget compassion and understanding?

No, I’m not saying everyone, everywhere lacks compassion.  There are many of us out there who are not afraid to reach out to others without a thought to covering our potentially liable behinds, but I have a bad taste in my mouth from a recent incident and I can’t help but voice my opinion as many of us bloggers are inclined to do.

This isn’t about me, but about a friend.  Not a “wink, wink” friend, but really, not me because right now I am a stay at home mom.  This friend, we’ll call her Kate, has been sick.

Kate has a seizure disorder which has been newly diagnosed.  She hasn’t been able to drive a car for about six months because her seizures aren’t totally under control.  She has been to the doctor time after time and despite everything, continued to work dilligently at her job every day.

After ten years of hard work, she receives a letter outlining her employer’s “concerns”.  Apparently in the past 6 months there were three episodes where my friend was “a little confused”, “unresponsive”, or otherwise incapacitated for a period of less than 15 minutes.  That’s it.  Three minor episodes in 6 months.  As an epileptic myself, I can assure you that this is insignificant in the grander scheme of things.

 Instead of showing just a bit of compassion for Kate, her employer hands her a three page letter outlining every single statement she has made about her possible illness and details of the three episodes with a demand that she undergo a full physical and mental health evaluation and sign a release for her employer to contact any medical professionals so they can have input into the evaluations.  Further, they have reserved the right to get a second opinion if they do not like the first one.

Not once has her disability affected a major work decision or her overall performance, but it has made people feel uncomfortable.  They outline this discomfort in their letter as well.  “People feel embarrassed for you”.

Well, when I was having trouble with my seizure disorder 15 years ago, I wasn’t worried about being embarrassed, I was worried about things like hurting myself when I seized or getting my disease under control. 

Kate is a model employee.  I don’t work with her, but I know that she is.  She is dilligent, hardworking and a perfect rule follower.  She stays late without pay and will always get the job done.  When one of her coworkers was sick, she covered for her extensively and she is now not receiving the same compassion.

Why?

Are people that freaked out by others who have seizures?

I know that before I had seizures, I thought that they were only for severely impaired people and not college educated professionals.  I too was afraid, but nothing gets you over the fear of something than having to live with it every day.

To me, this is all about compassion, or in this case, a lack of compassion.  Their fear of what could happen has sparked their need to attack my friend, humiliate her with details I haven’t outlined here and put an already stressed, ill person under more stress.

What is even more disturbing is the agency she works for.  I can’t outline the details, but it’s safe to say that they are in human services.  Maybe a bank or an accounting firm wouldn’t understand or have compassion for a person with a seizure disorder, but an agency that services people with special needs probably should.

If it isn’t already obvious, I am angry.  I am mad that because of a fear of potential liability my friend is being dumped on by her employer despite ten years of service for an illness that is beyond her control. 

Are there any real answers out there?

First Lady Michelle Obama is wearing *gasp* shorts, and on vacation with her family no less!  How do we live with such a scandal?

Here’s a picture of Michelle Obama right here, walking on the White House lawn with the family dog Bo.  Again, she is wearing a pair of shorts.

What are we, the public, to think of such an escapade?

That she was HOT and wanted to enjoy the nice weather. 

Are we really so focused on what people wear instead of who they are that when the First Lady wears shorts it becomes headline news?

This picture was taken earlier in the summer and now scandal is hitting again because Michelle Obama wore shorts while vacationing with her family.  Some argue she is a role model and shouldn’t be seen in shorts. 

They aren’t exactly hot pants and she isn’t holding onto a stripper pole as she walks off of Air Force One.

Maybe we need to focus on what matters, like the reasons why we care if Michelle Obama wears shorts and why we think this is so destructive to society.  Does any mother out there (or father) really think that their daughter is going to be negatively influenced by Michelle Obama because she has on a pair of madras shorts?

Michelle Obama wearing shorts tells me that she is one of us, that she gets hot and she wants to be comfortable.  She is telling me with her actions that expensive suits are hot and she isn’t going to succumb to the “pain for beauty” mantra that many women foolishly subscribe to.

I’m all for shorts, whether on Michelle Obama, the Pope or anyone else that wants to stay cool on a hot day.  Stay cool Ms. Obama, you have more important things to do than care if you are wearing shorts are not.

It’s summer in Northampton, Massachusetts and although it has been a rainy summer, the gardens at the Northampton Community Gardens couldn’t be more beautiful this year.

The community gardens in Northampton are a series of plots that locals rent from the Northampton Recreation Department for a nominal fee and tend throughout the summer.  You never know what you are going to find planted here in these gardens, but most take a huge amount of pride in their plot, planting harvestable vegetables and beautiful flowers.

I took this picture on a walk a few days ago,  when the weather was one of the top five days of the year with 75 degrees and a light breeze.  The sunflowers and black eyed susans are in full bloom and can be seen in almost every plot at the Northampton Community Gardens.

I visit often the gardens often and I love to see how they change throughout the growing season.

I followed this monarch butterfly as it flitted around the gardens looking for the right place to find some nectar.  Finally the monarch butterfly settled on this flower and I was able to catch a picture of it.  Summer in Northampton, I love it here.

I was at the orthopedist’s the other day after months of dealing with an impossible left knee.  I put away my softball glove for the summer and stopped daily walks through the neighborhood because of the swelling and pain.

Yes, I’m going to whine here, so my “un-fans” it’s time to leave or at best, not leave a comment that I will delete anyway, but I digress.

I get told by one doctor, torn ACL, surgery, immobilizer, crutches, the works.  One handy MRI later and my ACL is beautiful, healthy.  In fact, my whole knee is great looking in the MRI.  So, what is causing me ridiculous pain when I walk?

Early arthritis.  Fine.  Fine.  I can deal with it.  Yes, I’m 36 and WAY too young in my book, but losing a few pounds wouldn’t hurt either and this gives me more incentive.  I ask the doctor for some 600 Ibuprofen to deal with it in the short term and he agrees it will help. 

I fill my called in prescription, only to realize later I’ve been prescribed diclofenac sodium 75 mg.  Ok, so it’s an anti-inflammatory somewhat like ibuprofen, but as a pill skeptic, I always check side effects to see if they are worth the risk.

The COMMON side effects listed on the sheet given to me by the pharmacy are:  (Now, these are listed as common remember)  nausea; indigestion; rapid heart rate; high blood pressure; swelling usually of face or lips; blurred vision; CNS depression; drowsiness; congestive heart failure; nervousness; numbness or tingling in hands and feet; shortness of breath; jerkings of face, trunk or extremities; irregular heartbeat; chest pain; dizziness; intestinal ulcers; ringing in ears; vomitting. 

It further reads:  If symptoms are mild but do not go away or are bothersome, check with your doctor.  If they are severe, call your doctor immediately.

SO, to recap, in order to treat an arthritic, sore knee, I MIGHT experience a little blurred vision or an irregular heartbeat?  Maybe some facial jerking?  Nausea or indigestion, yeah, I could live with, but congestive heart failure? 

Seriously, I know that the majority of people who take arthritis drugs are older and therefore more likely to experience these symptoms anyway, without taking the drug at all, but really, why in the world would a medication with such severe COMMON side effects be prescribed?

Why do we, as a whole, put our faith in prescribers and prescription drugs?  Yes, I am forever grateful to drug companies for coming up with medications that save people from debilitating disease, but do we need medications that might relieve some pain to be so full of side effects?

I might have lost a ten dollar co-pay, but it was worth it.  I threw the damn bottle away, took some over the counter ibuprofen and I am fine.  No need to risk congestive heart failure for me.

I’m not sure if we are allowed to swear, so I’ll just say that if you think you are a Witch, try this quiz to find out.  (Twitter users only.)

 http://www1.roflquiz.com/how-bitchy-are-you/q/255/

If you’re proud of your result, comment here…..

This weekend was a great time to visit Boston, Massachusetts where the Tall Ships were once again anchored along the Boston Shoreline.  The ship above is from Uruguay and the captain allowed visitors to come aboard throughout the day on Saturday.

The Tall Ships are purely amazing.  I’m not a huge fan of sailing and rarely go on the water, but I went with some friends and took my three month old daughter her first trip to Boston.

In all, there were 30 + Tall Ships that were in the area and we took a shoreline cruise that lasted about 1 1/2 hours in order to see all of the ships.  Unfortunately, there were really long lines to visit some of the ships, and we didn’t the time (or the patience) to wait in line to get aboard.

Boston is a great city to visit, especially if you have tickets to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park.  That would have been the perfect end to our day in Boston, but we checked out the tall ships and then headed back home with the little one in tow.  Although she is a good baby, she probably isn’t ready for a night game at Fenway.

I’ve been blogging for about a year or so now and I think I can answer my own question.  My answer is that you can make money blogging online sometimes.  That sometimes your blog topic stinks and no one ever comes to visit and sometimes your blog becomes highly popular, but it is very difficult to figure out what content will be visited and what will sink to the bottom of the blogging cesspool.

I’ve read one blog consistently, The Junk Drawer, where Kathy talks about her life, her flaws, and a bag named Windy that has been stuck in a tree for the past year or more.  Why this is so popular is difficult to understand, but I find myself visiting often just to see what Windy and Kathy are up to.

Another blog I visit often is one that details a family struggle in an effort to save their almost one year old daughter Hannah.  Hannah has a rare genetic disease and Little Miss Hannah is a blog that I follow because I admire her mother and admire her strength and determination. 

I’ve weathered quite a few nasty comments here at Why Be Normal?  When you put yourself out there to the blogging community, some bloggers can be quite harsh.  Many believe they know better than you and offer advice that you didn’t ask for.  Others will find offense at something you had to say and hold a grudge, commenting rudely on almost every post you’ve made for the past year.

To make money as a blogger, you have to find your niche, otherwise you will eventually burn out and have nothing left to say.  When you write junk that you aren’t interested in, no one else will be interested in what you have to say either.  You can make money blogging, but you have to focus your efforts, peruse message boards and learn what is attractive to other readers.  If Windy the plastic bag can be a success, so can you.

Kate Gosselin, from the hit TLC reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, was recently “caught” by the paparazzi spanking her daughter Leah.  In Touch magazine plastered this picture on the front page of their magazine.

Cara and Alexis (?) are standing by, watching the whole thing.  From the looks of it, they are hardly traumatized and probably figure that their sister Leah is getting a little bit of what was coming to her for not behaving.

I’m not writing about the incident to further fry Kate Gosselin on the proverbial media fire, but to support her choice in using spanking as a tool to teach children right from wrong.

Although spanking is frowned upon by many, if you were spanked as a child, didn’t it teach you quickly right from wrong?

Would you rather sit in time out for lengthy periods of time, or get a quick swat?  I’d take a swat on my butt anytime to get back to what I was doing as quickly as possibly. 

Yes, some children do get physically abused.  I’ve investigated hundreds of child abuse cases in the past seven years and I’ve learned the difference between spanking and physical abuse.

While many claim that spanking is a form of physical abuse, I politely disagree.  Some physical abuse cases I’ve seen include belt whippings that left deep welts up and down a sixteen year old’s back, a broken femur on a 10 month old, a cracked skull on a 3 month old, and many children covered in bruises or with mystery fractures.

Let’s not confuse spanking with child abuse unless the spanking becomes so forceful that it leaves physical marks.  That might sound funny, really, that spanking is not abuse unless it leaves bruising or “signs”, but there are many children out there that need the attention of authorities to be saved from abuse and the Gosselin children are not those children.

You might disagree with spanking, so don’t spank your children.  There are many “positive parenting” parents out there.  Their children are the ones telling adults what to do and the children trying to reason with their teacher why they shouldn’t have to be quiet right now.

Sometimes a little fear of adults goes a long way.   I’m not saying to go and beat your children into submission, but if my daughter decides to tell me off  someday, she’s getting a swat on her butt.  No questions asked.

In 1921, Charles Ponzi came up with a scheme that sounded too good to be true, and it was.

Charles Ponzi promised investors that they would receive a 50% return on their money within 90 days, an opportunity that many of the poor and uneducated people he approached found too good to pass up.

Charles Ponzi during the height of his scheme.

Ponzi, already a convicted criminal came up with the idea that if he purchased International Postage Reply Coupons in another country, he could turn them into US postage stamps and sell them for much more than he paid for them.

Values of Inthadernational Postage Reply Coupons were set in local currency and did not take into consideration exchange rates, so Ponzi could buy more coupons for the same money in a poorer country.

Ponzi’s plan didn’t account for the fact that he would have to purchases tons and tons of stamps (literally) to pay back his investors at the rate he promised.  This would require plenty of help and there was never any evidence that Ponzi ever bought any of these coupons with his investors money.

Charles Ponzi first raised more than a million dollars in three hours back in 1921 as he peddled his scheme to the unwary.  Overall Charles Ponzi admitted to taking ten million dollars from investors but skeptics believe it could have been fifteen million or more.  Ponzi returned eight million dollars before his trial.

For his scheming, Ponzi was convicted of mail fraud and sentenced to five years in prison.  This seems like a small price to pay for netting what many believe is millions of dollars.

Eventually Charles Ponzi was deported to Italy and in 1945 died alone, reportedly broke and alone.

Dubbed as “robbing Peter to pay Paul” Ponzi Schemes are still run today.  Bernie Madoff is one of the more modern Ponzi Schemers who promised investors high returns and was eventually caught when new investor money ran dry.

Ponzi schemes are enticing to both the schemer and investors because many people want something for nothing and a promise of high returns for your investment,   Ponzi’s mug shot   especially in times of recession, is very appealing.

When people are desperate, like in the case of the poor and uneducated Ponzi preyed on, they will give up what little they have in the hopes of having a better future. 

Always think twice before investing in something that sounds too good to be true.  If you have to do very little in order to make high profits, it is probably not going to work out in the long run. 

 Charles Ponzi, Early and Later in Life

Although the Gosselins announced their big split on Monday night’s episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, the Crooked Houses that the children received seem to be even bigger. 

The little girls received a crooked garden house, the little boys a crooked pirate ship.  Mady chose her own design of an animal hospital type crooked house and Cara created a haunted house crooked house.

I believe the Crooked House Company gave the houses to the Gosselin family as a way to get on the show and advertise, but custom built crooked houses are available to the general public with a price tag.

Starting at around $1,200 for the smallest houses, crooked houses can run up into the $5,000 price range.  They are cute and whimsical, a great idea that the crooked house company has come up with.

On their website Kidscrookedhouse, they have displayed the custom built houses that were made for the Gosselins.  The children sure seemed to enjoy them on the show and I hope they get years of enjoyment out of them.

 The Custom Built Gosselin Boys Pirate Ship by Kidscrookedhouse