Why be Normal?

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I haven’t been focusing too much on rednecks lately, although I’ve been seeing my share of them.  I still love rednecks and can’t seem to stay away from ridiculous redneck humor.

 I don’t know what your average redneck gives for Christmas.  Maybe wind chimes made from beer cans?   A fish in a toilet bowl?

A visit yesterday to a very cheap, somewhat seedy flea market reminded me of how much rednecks really do exist.  The abundance of cheap junk available at this flea market was overwhelming.  I don’t need a $3 leather belt or $1.50 sunglasses.  I’ll pass.

Here’s my newest find:  The Redneck Christmas Tree

Christmas is coming.  If you go to the mall frequently, Christmas has been coming for months.   In a recessive market, we are all looking for deals on the toys our children crave and well, it’s part of the hunt. 

I have a young daughter who is not yet interested in the hottest Christmas toys and so I didn’t have to run out on black Friday at 3 am to hit the stores.  I did participate in Cyber Monday for some great deals for the spouse, but I am not a fight the Christmas crowds kind of shopper.  All of this has little to do with my point and that is that I learned about a new tradition this year, the Elf on the Shelf.

I know that the Elf on the Shelf is not new this year, but it is new to me.  Apparently, the Elf is Santa’s Spy and he is visible in the house in a new spot every morning.  Parents move the Elf (or the Elf moves himself) to a new place every day.  A friend had reported that an Elf placed in the kitchen resulted in her son emptying the dishwasher and her daughter taking out the recycling. 

Ahhh.  The Elf on the Shelf is another tool to use to get children to behave during the Christmas Holiday so that we can then spoil the heck out of them come Christmas and have them believe they have earned it. 

The Elf on the Shelf is a constant reminder that Santa is watching.

As soon as my daughter can comprehend the Elf, I am going to get my own Elf on the Shelf.  He may even sneak out once in awhile in August, when the thought of Christmas and good behavior is long forgotten. 

Why not?

If the Elf on the Shelf works in December, imagine the effect if the Elf appeared completely out of context?

After five years as one of the biggest shows on the TLC network, the Gosselin family is finally calling it quits, at least for now.

It is no secret that Kate Gosselin would continue to film John and Kate Plus 8, minus John, but John Gosselin has stopped production of the show by demanding that TLC stop filming his children because he believes it is detrimental to their well-being.

Although John Gosselin thought the show was a great idea five years ago and has had endless opportunities handed to him because of it, now he believes that it is harmful for his children to be in a reality television show.  This reeks of revenge, an effort to hurt his former wife Kate Gosselin and a way to take some control in a world where he was little more than one of the children himself.

I still don’t really love Kate Gosselin nor do I respect how she treated her former spouse John Gosselin while they were married.  She seems remorseful on the subject, but hindsight is 20/20.

I’m all for Kate Plus 8 to continue without John.  The show provided the children college funds, a beautiful home and the means to travel places they would have never been had the Gosselins never been discovered.

Is it good for any children to be on a reality television show?  Maybe, maybe not, but as parents we all make decisions that we believe are in the best interests of our child.  Child actors have to depend on the parents to make sound decisions and reality television children are no exception.

It seems while John is away, living the bachelor life and spending money as fast as he can, Kate is making sure that they have money put away for the future of her children.  Although she may be harsh, Kate Gosselin is being financially responsible to her children and should be given credit for her ability to provide some stability in the lives of her 8 children.

Imagine the lives of the Gosselin family had they never had a show on television.  They would be living in that tiny house without enough room for their family.   John Gosselin is so unmotivated to work that he would barely be able to put food on the table and Kate Gosselin would be so busy with the eight kids and trying to work that she would have been even more unbearable.

What happened to John and Kate Gosselin is sad.  I still wish they could pull themselves together and go back to the way things were, before the Gosselin Chernobyl. 

So many kids, so few parental arms to give them a hug or a hand when they need it. 

The teenager working the grocery store register tries to help you use the atm card machine because you look confused.

You see your mom/dad while out shopping and as you get closer to say hi you realize it is a mirror.

When you refer to the warehouse 20 somethin guy as that little boy over there.

When you can’t tell the difference between high school and college age kids.

When you have to move printed materials close to your eyes and the farther away .. then closer then farther in order for you focus to adjust.

When you sneeze you pee just a hint of a bit wheter or not you’ve just emptied your bladder or not.

When you can legally share a beer with your 1st born child.

When the tattoo artist you say you may get your 1st tattoo from says “well…it’s NEVER too late!”

When you never, ever get carded at the liquor store.

Ditto buying lottery and cigarettes.

When trash day and triple coupons get you excited, and you run the washing machine and dishwasher at the same time, just for fun.

When you have to lie not only about your on age, but your kids age too.

When when you bend down to pick something up and look around while you are down there for anything else you might need to pick up too.

Sammy Sosa cares about his skin.  After years of playing professional baseball in the sun, Sammy Sosa decided to undergo a skin rejuvenation and he has been surprised with the results.

Here is Sammy Sosa, before and after his skin rejuvenation procedure.  Sammy Sosa blames the bleached look on lighting and has stated that if you saw him in person, you wouldn’t really see a difference.

I may not be the best person to judge esthetics, but I think the picture of Sammy Sosa on the left is just a little bit darker than the right.  If I went into a skin rejuvenation procedure and came out with skin several shades lighter or darker, I’d be a bit confused.

Sammy Sosa has stated that he isn’t pulling a Michael Jackson, he is just trying to treat his skin for sun damage.  Sometimes skin rejuvenation procedures produce results that either lighten or darken the skin. 

My big question is, are they going to do the rest Sammy Sosa’s body too?  He’d look awful interesting in a bathing suit.

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I can’t help it.  I’m not deeply into politics, but with the onslaught of Rush Limbaugh on television voicing his racist, homophobic opinions I can’t help but add my two cents in.   I understand that Mr. Limbaugh will have no interest in me, a tiny little blogger, but if he can state that he wants the president to fail, I can state that he is a jerk for saying it.

Rush Unleashed, Mr. “I was addicted to pain killers and have been divorced three times”, is having a special on television Tuesday night.  Why do some people cling to the opinion of a man who can’t even get his own personal life under control?

When asked the question:  Is there anything positive you can think to say of Barack Obama, Mr. Limbaugh pauses dramatically and then states, “he reads a teleprompter well and has a good voice.”

This from a man who staunchly supported President Bush, and well, we don’t even need to discuss his shortcomings here.

 Mr. Rush Limbaugh proudly announced that he wants President Obama to fail and claims that this statement is not unpatriotic.  He stated that he wants President Obama’s initiatives to fail because if they succeed, the United States will be in worse shape than it is now.

How does a public figure get away with such irresponsible and wide sweeping statements?  Doesn’t Mr. Limbaugh understand that as an upper echelon member of the Republican Party he only degrades the party as a whole? 

Let President Obama do his job and critique it,  that is patriotic.   Hoping the President of the United States fails, regardless of your political affiliations, is unpatriotic no matter how you look at it.

 I was driving around looking at fall foliage the other day and came upon this street sign.  For the first time in over a month or so, this made me think of blogging and I had to snap a picture of Trouble Street.

I love the fall and the foliage here in Massachusetts is just breathtaking.  I take pictures of the fall foliage, but it is very difficult to capture the true beauty of New England in the fall with a camera. 

In pictures, you can’t smell the fall in the air.  The smell that says it is no longer summer, that leaves are changing colors and the snow is soon to fall.  You can’t hear the crinkle of the leaves as you walk through a pile or the sound of people endlessly raking their yards in a fight against nature.

What does this have to do with Trouble Street?

Since I have been spending so much time outside enjoying the fall I have let my blog sit neglected, waiting for a random post, anything to keep the love alive.  Here I am blog, it might only be a brief visit, but I worked hard over the past year to build you into the pile of muckety muck that you are and I haven’t forgotten you.

What I found funny and the posts I began with aren’t as interesting to me anymore.  I think I am changing as a blogger, and although my google page rank will take yet another hit for being a clustered mess of unrelated material, I will slog on and focus on better writing.

It’s fall.  The time to batten down the hatches, grab a few breaths of fresh air and hunker down for some serious hibernation. 

This Labor Day weekend was like any typical last weekend of the summer in New England.  Cooling temperatures, last hurrah barbeques, and a tag sale on every corner.  Yes, we had a tag sale too, that yearly hoeing out of the junk that accumulates in the garage that people screech their tires to stop and look at.  The junk that ends up in their garage and they sell next year at their own tag sale.

What I find the most interesting about tag sales is the haggling that goes on.  “How much is this (fill in the blank)?”

“It has .50 cents on it.”

“I’ll give you a quarter.”

Yeah, I know, we all like a bargain, but really, haggling over .25 cents?  For a once used audio book that was purchased six months ago for $28?

“Take it.  You can have it.  I already listened to it.  He dies in the end.  Sad, sad story and so unexpected.”

Better yet are the people who won’t pay a quarter for anything yet when we have a big free sign at the end of our driveway, they load up their car.  What they don’t want for a dollar or two, they will cart away when it is free.  Hmmm.  Just my opinion, but if you don’t want something for a quarter, you probably don’t want it at all.

I actually had someone knock on my door yesterday asking about my free table and chairs that are down by the mailbox.

“Do you have the screws for the legs?”

“Yup, they’re attached.”

“Do you have the table leaf?”

Are they kidding?  I thought I was being punked or something.  IT’S for FREE! 

“No, we don’t have the leaf, I didn’t know it had one.”

Looks at me as if considering “buying” the table despite it’s flaws.  Shakes his head.

“That’s too bad.”

He leaves without the table, shaking his head as he walks down the driveway.  I just want to scream “It’s free!”, but I close my door quietly.

Next year I am not going to have a tag sale.  I am going to have a giant bonfire instead.  I’ll start by breaking up this leafless table and use it for kindling.  Afterall, it is free.